Hidegard was 38 years old when Jutta died, leaving her as head of the convent while living within the cramped walls of the anchorage. She later moved the community to a new monastery on the Rupertsberg at Bingen on the Rhine. Five years after her election as magistra in 1141, Hildegard received a prophetic call from God telling her to write down everything she would observe in her visions. This vision gave her instant understanding of the meaning of the religious texts.
"And it came to pass ... when I was 42 years and 7 months old, that the heavens were opened and a blinding light of exceptional brilliance flowed through my entire brain. And so it kindled my whole heart and breast like a flame, not burning but warming... and suddenly I understood of the meaning of expositions of the book"
However, feeling of inadequacy overwhelmed her as well:
"But although I heard and saw these things,because of doubt and low opinion of myself and because of diverse sayings of men, I refused for a long time a call to write, not out of stubbornness but out of humility, until weighed down by a scourge of God, I fell onto a bed of sickness."
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